Why I Couldn’t Be A Stay-At-Home Parent 14

Written by Luke Woodhouse | Blended Parent Network

Hats off to any of you Mum and Dads that are stay at home parents!

In our house, my wife and I both had many discussions before having kids, that one of us would stay at home and look after the kids until they were old enough for school. 

We both had jobs that were very average pay and it would make zero financial sense to put them into nursery, neither of us are career minded and both believed that having kids means we should be at home with them as much as possible!

It was a mutual decision and made most sense for myself to work and my wife to stay at home. I would regularly come home and wish I had the easy life at home, we would have many disagreements and my wife would say “it’s not as easy as you think!!” 

Off I would go to work annoyed, upset, generally just acting like a prick.

It was probably when our second child was born that reality hit… I could NEVER be a SAHD!!!

I needed work as an escape more and more as time went on. Don’t get me wrong I did my half of night duties and have certainly done my fair share of everything else but it’s emotionally too much for me. The constant, full on day to day running of the house the tedious routines of breakfast, lunch, tea, bed time routine, school run etc etc etc. It’s not one job it’s ten jobs.

NO holidays, NO official break. 

I would class myself as being a very patient person, my colleagues and friends would say so also. What they can’t see is the emotional mess I am on the inside after a week at home with my boys. Deep breaths and stressing out at the smallest of things. 

You have to try constantly to be a good role model, with 100% charge and have eyes and ears everywhere. I wish I was rich enough not to work but I honestly couldn’t say I wouldn’t find another way to get out of the day to day life of parenting. 

It’s the hardest job on earth, It’s the best job on earth and I’m so thankful that my wife keeps it all together (even if somedays it just for the kid’s benefit) 

Take a bow you home Mums and Dads you are the real super heroes!!

Would love to know what you think, for me it took having a second child to realise the stresses involved! It took 3 years for me to recognise the fact that I was being an idiot!!

Written by Luke Woodhouse | Blended Parent Network

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14 thoughts on “Why I Couldn’t Be A Stay-At-Home Parent

  • Maria Loves

    Yup, it’s hard work. I’ve been home off and on (mostly on) for the last 22 years, raising and home educating our tribe of five. Last night I had a similar discussion with my husband. He often comes home after a LONG and tedious day at work (his job can sometimes be quite stressful), and has a run in with the teen. I can see the cartoon smoke and steam coming off his weary body as he tries to remain calm and patient.

    Last night I pointed out to him, that before his run in, I had several others during the day, with the teen, the ten year old and the 18 year old. I know them feels dude.

    ‘You’re in the jungle baby, you gonna dieee’ *sung in my best Axl Rose voice*

    I don’t think either of us are better than the other, I just think we are cut from different cloth. And perhaps we bring different skills to the table too. I certainly couldn’t work in the industry he does and deal with those stresses. I think what he does is hard too. We have distinct roles, and that works for us.

    I guess it’s just horses for courses?

      • Maria Loves

        No, I home educate the ten year old.

        Having had five little ones at home, home educating them all, I would definitely say I am at the luxury end time wise.

        .Switching hat wise.. No way. It’s not easy at all trying to get it right for multiple ages.

        It was much easier parenting little kids than tweens, teens and young adults.

        But that’s just my opinion.

  • Crissy Lucas

    I work from home as a travel agent most days, but my other half makes the better income. I’ve gotten used to being home with her, it was isolating at first but I quickly figured out that it didn’t have to be. Also, I too get judged for being home to receive state benefits, in which case we do receive medical (I’d be damned if my daughter didn’t get medical) but she also has medical under her father. Our one income also (somehow) qualifies as making “too much” for added benefits in the state of Nevada. I’ve learned not to care what people think though as long as my family is taken care of.

  • thommcox

    “It’s the hardest job on earth, It’s the best job on earth” – completely agree. I never got why people said it was ‘hard’. It’s SUCH a different type of pressure than being in the office having a boss down your neck. Different stresses and challenges. I would like to be a SAHD, i am not saying i’d be the best or that i’d find it easy… but i’d still want to do it in spite of those challenges. I think i’d find the creativity hard… thinking about them constantly and keeping them occupied all the time.It is not for everyone, i genuinely know my husband is best at home as he gets on the floor so much more, rolls around, can be imaginative with stuff that i wouldn’t think about. The other day i came home and they were making bird feeders… i’d never do that!!

    • Blended Parent Network Post author

      Luckily my son is really into superheroes like me! So that gives us endless hours of fun. Raising your child and being present for the maximum amount of time could never be too hard, one smile and all the stress disappears!

  • Leanne B

    Hats off for you to admit to being an idiot. I really wish my partner would see that it’s not that easy being at home. I’ll be going back to work part time In March following on from maternity leave & I’ve no idea how I’m going to fit it all in!

  • Alex (@whatalexdid1)

    Techinally I’m not a stay at home dad, but I work from home and go into the office about twice a month… Those 2 days are my escape.. I have done a month of SAHD and it was hard, I mean really hard. I wouldn’t do it full time, I couldn’t. But hats off to those that do.

    When my wife was on maternity leave first time round, I used to think how easy she had it being off, but being a stay at home parent is way harder than going into work every day if you ask me!

    • Blended Parent Network Post author

      Same here! Being a SAHD for a little while then changing that into working from home and now home educating, days are getting shorter and my things to do list is growing! I think if I had an office job like before life would be loads easier!! – David