Written by Sarah Lloyd | Mumbie Tales
Just the way you are…
Being a Virgo – and consistently striving for perfection it’s understandable that I would want to extend this to every area of my life – unfortunately when it comes to my babies I don’t think I will ever live up to my expectation of the ‘ideal mummy’.
You know the one…“unfazed, not yelling, has the child that quietly puts on her coat, and shoes and does as she is told when it’s time to leave soft play, a party or anywhere fun… the one who spends time making cakes, playing games, has perfect hair and clean clothes… the one who’s house doesn’t smell like feet or poop. She who cooks from scratch and hands out organic treats (not quavers) and constantly declares that she is totally fulfilled being a mummy…”
Yeah her. BITCH.
But does she really exist? Or is she just a myth sent to make the rest of us crumpled, tired messes feel like crap?
What I have found on my parenting journey is whilst we all make mistakes, struggle with parenthood or hand out chocolate buttons instead of apple segments… generally people prefer to put on a front. The ‘I’ve got this, I am completely in control, its mega easy being a parent’ façade. Where only the good comments are shared on Facebook or Instagram, the pictures of your children looking clean, happy and well behaved – and yes I am completely guilty of picking the best pics and putting smiley happy comments on social media too… however, it’s got me to thinking and can I be completely honest?
I think this is one of the many reasons people who are struggling with PND or the ‘wow I’m a parent epiphany’ feel truly alone.
Because when Mr and Mrs Perfect swan past you in the supermarket with their stepford kids, and you are scraping a tearful toddler off the floor who is screaming ‘mummy I want… a knife… or something equally inappropriate’, you feel judged and alone in that split second. Parenting I have realized is full of these types of moments.
A friend of mine, who actually doesn’t have kids, but has lots of friends who do, made a really good point – ‘why do mums vent about this stuff to me but when they are all in a group with other mums, why do they act like things are super dandy and fine?’
The answer to that is… no idea! Sure everyone is entitled to privacy and may not want to air their ‘laundry’ but I thought the point of meeting up with your mummy buddies is the time when you air your toddler issues, problems, exchange tips etc…not to compete with who can be the most perfect and in control?
Ladies, can’t you just admit that things are tough, that being a parent is hard, just so the rest of us don’t feel completely inadequate in our parenting skills.
Plus surely it’s totally ok to not be ‘perfect’ all the time, it’s ok to have our little break downs, to sit in front of the washing machine crying because we have done our third load of the day and we haven’t even dented the damn pile… it’s ok to feel guilty about going back to work when our babies are tiny, it’s ok to not shower everyday or do drop off in our Pjs…
I guess one thing we can all count on is our children have only known us, our imperfections and our love, so the best thing is they love us just the way we are…
Written by Sarah Lloyd | MumbieTales
Website | Mumbie Tales
Twitter | @curlsarah